Jury Duty

so i was called earlier this week to serve on a jury. what a great social experiment and an uncanny mixture of diverse people. a small room in manhattan, packed with 30 different potential jurors and two attorneys. a million times more of a mixed bag than, say, 12 Angry Men, the most famous flick about jury duty.


one thing i hadn't considered was that i would be required to come out to all these strangers. i'm sure it's obvious to the average observer that i'm not quite straight, but it's not something that often crosses my mind. so when one of the (classic, smarmy) lawyers asked me in front of the whole group, "what does your wife do for a living?", it actually made me a little nervous and a little proud to respond "oh, i don't have a wife. i have a boyfriend."

of course, no one really even cared, but it was one of those moments where i felt a little weird and exposed for being different, but also really thrilled and relieved that i'm not like everybody else. then, it turns out that the next guy who was interviewed - also gay. just when i thought i cornered the token gay guy in the room, i had some major competition. luckily, i wasn't chosen to be on the case. come to think of it, neither was the other gay man. hmmmmmm.

Baby girl is 4 months old and looking great. Big, huge smiles. Loves to "fly" around like an airplane.

Same Questions, but now for Movies

1. One movie you've seen more than once: Groundhog Day

2. One movie you'd want on a desert island (the projector, screen and electricity or DVD player/electricity is of course, magically, included): Groundhog Day

3. One movie that made you laugh: Wedding Crashers

4. One movie that made you cry: Lili

5. One movie that you wish you had made: In the Mood For Love

6. One movie that you wish had never been made: Crash

7. Most recent movie watched: Sabrina. The 50s version with Audrey Hepburn & Bogart.

8. One movie you have been meaning to see: anything by Bergman.

9. One movie that changed your life: Another Woman

10. in place of tagging, i'm going to list 5 movies that i saw this year (in a theatre) that i'd recommend:

Thirteen and Holding
Inside Man
Little Miss Sunshine
The Illusionist
Poseidon ... Yes, Poseidon!

eating babies

i meant to tackle this subject weeks ago ... so, why do so many people generally comment on wanting to eat babies?

"Oh, she's so cute, I could just eat her up!"
"I could nibble on those cheeks for days!"
"She's so yummy!"
"Oh, I want to bite those chubby legs!"

These are just a few of the many comments we've heard (and said) about our own daughter. My theory is simple.
Here's an excerpt from an Entertainment Weekly interview with Nicole Kidman from early 2003:

And while much has been made of her on-screen kiss with
[Miranda] Richardson (which carries with it enough rage, desperation, and
passion to rival brothers Michael and Fredo's in The Godfather
Part II), Kidman says it was key to understanding her character.
"[During rehearsals] I'd hold Miranda's hand and lie on her and
stroke her skin, but you need that to create the sisters, because
there was such a union," Kidman says. "I'm always baffled when
people say, 'Explain the kiss.' Isn't that obvious? The kiss is
her trying to suck the life out of Vanessa; she's so desperate
for her to stay."

It seems to me that we often keenly sense the unbridled life in a baby. The pure joy, the pure anger, the peace. And we want to own that purity. I don't think we want this perversely or even desperately but we are (almost all of us) full of feelings of impurity, inhibition and incompleteness. So, when confronted with such a powerful display of the opposite, a newborn baby, our instinct is to absorb it, to consume it.

Yes, I think this happens almost always subconciously and No, I don't think this makes us all potential witches. The same could be said for most kisses (as described above). They are physical actions, manifestations, of a very real and a very decent desire for a powerful and joyous energy. It is only natural for us to want this. It could even be said that it is only natural for babies to share this joy with all of us. Perhaps that's the whole point.

And when you get right down to it, it's about love. And who doesn't love a cute baby with chubby cheeks and an adorable grin? It sort of gets you, right in the gut.

Gypsy

seems our baby girl is a fan of one of the best musicals of all time (and one most stereotypically-associated with gay sensibilities). I just can't subject her to kid's tunes all day, so enter Ethel ... and the rest of them ... Patti, Angela, Betty, Bernadette, then there's Judy and of course Barbra.

I still remember my mom singing Animal Crackers in my soup and Who's Afraid of the Big Bad Wolf from Barbra's early albums when I was a lil' tyke... Barry Manilow also figured prominently. explains alot.

favorite new song

get myself into it

the rapture

the everything update

today: my daughter fell asleep on my chest for 2 hours and 15 mintues. calvin, to protect her precious slumber, fed me lunch as if i were bedridden. delectable.

what i'm reading: joan didion's the year of magical thinking. i wish all books were as engrossing and illuminating. can't seem to escape her candid, wrenching and simple words for more than an hour at a time. keeps me thinking of mom's recent stay at the ICU and her constant shuffling from home to hospital to facility and back 'round again. also, makes me think of the many parents of friends who have passed away over the last year.

mom's doing better.

calvin has been back in school now for 2 weeks. big quiz tomorrow. still has the grossest stories imaginable from his anatomy lab. i'll spare you those.

saw hollywoodland last night. (thank god for michelanne, babysitter extraordinaire!) surprised - no, shocked - that ben affleck won the top acting award at venice for this performance. he's good which, in and of itself, is saying volumes. but he's not brilliant. of course, the only reason to see the movie is diane lane. and of course all those fantastic fabrics from the 50s (not just the chic clothes, but those drapes!) the desingers had fun on this flick.

and as for project runway, he's finally gone! cheers.

suri cruise

i think she looks just like tom and katie actually ... and i was one of those who believed she didn't really exist.

but just like other celeb kids, i feel sorry for her already. her soon-to-be distorted view of the world. her nutty parents and the colossal media machine that surrounds them, the lack of normalcy she'll have. and the ridiculously high expectations she'll have waiting for her.

... but then, she probably already has her own helicopter. that'd be nice.

Kill As Few Patients As Possible

the title of a book in the window of calvin's medical school bookstore. i pass it all the time and it always makes me smile.