one ... singular sensation

difficult to write today. mom not doing well. i'm finding escape in the movies on tv.

watching the atrocious "a chorus line" brings back scary memories of me and my dad seeing that movie back in '85 in the theatre. looking back, i can't quite imagine how it all went down but somehow he asked me, at the tender age of 13, which movie i'd like to see with him. we were on one of our father/son excursions in the aftermath of my parents' separation. i gotta give it to 'im. he tried to connect with me, tried to make an effort to get to know me. and there i was. picking one of the worst movies ever made. "Let me DANCE for you ... we made a lot of music, you and iiiiiiiiiiiiii." with gay chorus boys and drag queens talking about being molested. he must have felt ... a little ... awkward. perhaps.

but not as awkward as, later, when i brought home videos for me to watch with my mom and my brother. "'i've heard the mermaids singing" and "prick up your ears". yeah, those didn't go over very well. honestly, i wasn't aware at the time that they were both gay-themed movies. perhaps they spoke to me on some subconscious level in the video store. "pick me! i'll scare your mother and freak out your brother. i'll make you feel like a real film aficionado too and then you can stew to yourself: no one gets me!!" that's exactly what the videos said to me. of course, at that age, "prick up your ears" scared me too. um, still does actually.

waiting for news on mom. outlook is not good but trying to stay positive.

baby is doing very well. it is a crazy existence, i must say. i just took her out in the bjorn so i could have some adult human contact. even if it's just with the crazy duane reade cashier. as long as i get my fix (large iced coffee) and some fresh air. she loves the bjorn - falls asleep right away. now, we're back home, trying to get her back to sleep. wish us luck.

calvin and i got married 2 years ago today. :)