name changes and conference calls

we're changing our last names. we just went to civil court last week to turn in the paperwork, expecting to submit two separate applications. lo and behold, new york city recognizes us as FAMILY.

Allow me to say that again, because it still surprises me. NYC recognizes the two of us as family members, for this purpose anyway. Instead of 2, we only had to submit one application (and only had to pay one $65.00 fee) with both of our names on it because we registered to be domestic partners over 4 years ago. Small recognition, I know - but profound nonetheless. A tiny glimmer of hope.

So we go back to court to face a judge in a few weeks. There, we will officially state why we are changing our last names. One reason, really: We both want to share the same last name as our future child. This will help us logistically (while traveling/filling out paperwork/parent teacher meetings) but also will be an undeniable gesture of our commitment - to each other and to our new family.

people's reactions to this are pretty much all over the map. some think it a little strange - that we are in our early to mid 30s and changing our last names is a bit unconventional. most folks are very supportive but still fascinated with such a big change.

we chose an old family name, rich with intricate history and sentimentality. i guess things like this are just completely subjective. it makes perfect sense to us. neither of us are deeply attached (emotionally or otherwise) to our current last names.

our recent conference call with our wonderfully knowledgable adoption attorney went very well. we're learning all about the next steps: acquiring a 1-800 phone number and developing a budget for advertising - both online and classified ads. we're working hard on our "brochure" which is basically a little lifestory of each of us - individually and as a couple. This, when finished, we will send out to expectant parents who are considering an adoption plan for their baby.

However, the initial connection is usually made when the birthparent(s) see our 1-800# in an ad in the back of a newspaper or at a medical clinic, or an online posting, through word-of-mouth, on a local community bulletin board, or they could just email us from this blog. Who knows. I'm a little nervous about handling the calls but at the same time I'm excited and looking forward to them.

Help us spread the word if you can! We hope to be certified by NY state to be adoptive parents within the next month or two ...